


You'll Never Know How I Did It

by Juul, rscollabmods, spacerhapsody



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Non-Sexual Crossdressing, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-11 09:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7043371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juul/pseuds/Juul, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rscollabmods/pseuds/rscollabmods, https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacerhapsody/pseuds/spacerhapsody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Marauders and Lily play a game of Truth or Dare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'll Never Know How I Did It

**Author's Note:**

> This collaboration was created as part of the 2016 round of [rs_collab](http://rs-collab.livejournal.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> **TEAM: The Evans Squad**

_Christmas holidays of 1974, Gryffindor Common Room_

“I dare you to ask Lily over there to join us.”

“Padfoot” James did his characteristic hair ruffling move and gave all of his friends a pained look in turn. They were sitting in a circle on the floor of the common room. In the corner, the Prewett brothers were playing a game of Exploding Snap and Lily was reading in her _History of Magic_ textbook on a chair by the fire.

Remus raised his eyebrows. “I’d love for her to join, mate!”

Peter didn’t say anything. Sirius gave James an encouraging prod.

“Hey, Evans?” Suddenly James was on his feet, and it struck Remus again that all his friends, with the exception, perhaps, of Peter, were getting ridiculously tall. James had now approached his target and lowered his voice somewhat. Next thing they knew, Lily came bouncing out of her chair and shoved herself easily between Peter and Remus. Everyone shifted around to make their circle more roomy.

“Truth or dare!” Her green eyes were sparkling with mischief. “What’d I miss?”

“Well,” Sirius leaned over and gave her a big wink. “I was just daring Mr Potter here to get you to join us.”

Lily laughed. “And before that?”

“Nothing much. Peter has been dared to sing _supercalifragilisticexpialidocious_ at breakfast tomorrow.” To his credit, Remus didn’t stumble over the word at all.

“Well, that I can’t wait to see!” Lily clasped her hands together. “So it’s my turn now, is it?”

“Actually-” James quickly shut up when he saw the look on Lily’s face. 

“So,” Lily looked around the room in a way that made Remus nervous. She _knew_ things. She was the first friend he’d made at Hogwarts, and she was incredibly intuitive. She knew things even his fellow Marauders didn’t know. He could only hope and pray that she was discreet enough not to corner him. 

**************************************************************************************************************  
_Autumn of 1973, Hogwarts Library_

“I swear to God, Remus, if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you I’ll go sit over there!”

Remus looked up from his Herbology textbook and asked Lily: “Why?”

“Because you’re fidgeting! You haven’t turned a page in half an hour and you keep sighing like the apocalypse is imminent.”

She was right, and he knew it. “Don’t go sit over there. I’ll behave.”

“Christ. You’re not a _dog,_ Remus, you don’t have to jump when I say jump. But I’m your friend and if something is the matter you need to tell me.”

Somehow, this made him giggle. “You’re right, I’m not a dog. And I suppose you really are my friend, Lily.”

For a moment, neither of them said anything. Lily felt a sudden wave of sadness, because it appeared to be news to Remus that they were friends and his insecurities would be the death of him someday. Remus was deliberating how much of his current predicament he could reveal to her.

Finally, without looking up, he whispered: “I’m in love.”

Lily gave a squeal that earned her a reproachful look from Madame Pince.

“With whom?”

“I can’t tell you that.” His voice, he hoped, was stern.

“So it’s someone I know. Boy or girl?”

Remus tried to keep his expression blank, but it didn’t work. She looked so happy for him, so genuinely interested, that he suddenly desperately wanted to tell her everything.

“A boy,” he admitted. “Although you’re right, I like both.”

She nodded and urged him to go on.

“It’s Sirius.”

This time Lily almost screamed. “I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!”

Now that the truth was out there, Remus felt oddly relieved. “It’s horrible, though.” He sighed again.

“Why?”

“He’s my best friend.” She shot him a look. “Okay, so he’s my best guy friend, you’re my best girl friend. But I’m pretty sure he’s straight and either way I don’t want to harm our friendship. That would be shit for us, but also for James and Peter.”

She nodded. “I understand what you’re saying about your friendship, but I’m pretty sure Sirius is as bent as a banana.”

Remus choked on a laugh. “What makes you say that?”

“Doesn’t he wear _leather trousers_ during the weekends?”

Remus turned bright red. “Yeah. Yes, he does.”

**************************************************************************************************************

_Christmas holidays of 1974, Gryffindor Common Room_

Remus was pulled out of his reverie when Lily’s sharp eyes focussed on him.

“Remus,” her grin spoke of nothing but trouble, “truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Remus said immediately. No question about it.

She’d been expecting it, though, because her response was instantaneous. “I dare you to plait Sirius’ hair.”

Sirius let out an indignant squeaking noise. “How is this a dare for Moony and not for me? Who says I want to get my hair plaited?”

“You do want to get your hair plaited,” Peter pointed out. It was true. Sirius shut up after that and allowed Remus to sit down behind him and smooth his hair down his back. 

“So now it’s my turn,” said Remus. His hands were busy sorting through Sirius’ messy hair and he had to crane his neck a bit to be seen over his shoulder, but otherwise it wasn’t too awkward. Okay, yeah, Sirius did smell really really good. But no one had to know that.

 

 

Remus immediately rounded on Lily in the name of payback. “Evans, truth or dare?”

Sirius and James yelled “hey,” at the exact same time. 

“You two BFF’s can’t just bounce it back and forth all night,” Sirius explained. 

Remus patted him on the head softly and whispered: “Just this one. I’m really curious about something.” Sirius eyes grew big and, mercifully, he shut up.

“Evans,” Remus said, a bit louder, “truth or dare?”

Her smile was a lot less confident now as she said: “Err, truth?”

“So what’s the real reason you’ve decided to stay at Hogwarts over the hols?”

Lily bit her lip. It was a risky move on his part, to broach such a personal topic with all the others around, but Remus was genuinely worried. 

“I didn’t want to see my family.”

Sirius sat up a little straighter, and Remus accidentally let go of his braid. Sod it.

Sirius offered Lily the flask of Firewhiskey they’d been passing around. “Have a drink on me, love.”

Lily took a hearty swig, James stared at her, and she asked Sirius: “You got a shit family, too?”

“Yep,” Sirius reached to his left and patted James on the back, “lucky I got Prongsy and his folks to help me out.”

Lily looked over at James with a surprised little smile. “He stays with you over the holidays?”

James nodded. Lily needed a little time to digest this information.

“It’s your turn,” Peter pointed out.

“Sirius,” Lily asked, “truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Sirius said proudly.

“So what’s with the strange nicknames?” She’d asked countless times before, but she’d never been able to wrangle a straight answer out of them.

Sirius shrugged. “They’re just nicknames.”

“No, they’re not,” she objected.

“Lily,” Remus’ voice had gone serious all of a sudden. “Can I tell you after graduation?”

“That’s two years from now!”

“Lily, please?”

Lily agreed, but it was only fair that she got to ask another question to whomever she chose.

“Peter,” but Lily couldn’t finish her sentence. Peter had already said: “Dare!”

“Very well,” said Lily. “I dare you to steal a lock of hair from Dumbledore’s beard.”

The whole group was silent for a few incredible seconds. The audacity, the genius of this dare was unsurpassed in Marauder history. They were all in awe of this idea’s brilliance. Then everybody started talking all at once.

“Do I have to do it right _now?_ ”

“How will we know it’s really Dumbledore’s hair and not some kneazle’s?”

“If he asks for it, is it still stealing?”

“You’re mad, he’s not going to _ask_ for a piece of Dumbledore’s beard!”

Lily stood up and everyone fell silent. “The terms of the dare,” she announced, “are as follows. It is to be completed within the next 48 hours. If there are no reliable witnesses, I will perform the genesis charm to determine the hair’s origin. Asking or bargaining doesn’t count as stealing. Peter, do you accept those terms?”

“Do I have a choice?” Peter asked dejectedly.

“Not unless you want to chicken out,” said James. It was decided. Chickening out on a dare was the worst kind of humiliation. Peter just nodded and accepted his fate.

“James, truth or dare?”

“Sorry mate, this early on in the game it’s got to be a dare.”

Peter hid his disappointment well. “I dare you to say the alphabet backwards in an American accent.” It was an old classic, the dare they’d been pestering each other with since they were firsties, and James, who had actually gotten rather good at saying the alphabet backwards in an American accent, stood up and made a bit of a show of it.

Lily leaned over towards Sirius while James was giving his little performance and said: “I didn’t know you’d been staying at the Potters over hols.”

“It’s no biggie,” Sirius assured her, although it was, in fact, a biggie. “I just don’t get along well with my brother and my mum, mostly.”

“And your dad?”

“My dad doesn’t care what I do one way or another.”

Lily gave him a pained look. “My sister hates me because I’m a witch,” she offered up.

Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. “Hates you _because_ you’re a witch?”

She was about to elaborate but James had already gotten around to “D,” and it was time to start paying attention to the rest of the group again.

“Remus,” James said as he folded his legs back under him and took the Firewhiskey from Lily. “Truth or dare?”

It was time to bite the bullet. “Truth,” James was a relatively safe asker. He might go digging, but he had no idea what he was digging for. And if Remus never said “truth,” he’d be getting shit for it.

James smiled at him, and somehow Remus felt reassured. “Have you ever snogged anyone?”

“No,” Remus answered. That wasn’t too bad. Everyone in their circle already knew that. James was just trying to steer to conversation to more risqué topics, and Remus understood why.

Remus turned to Lily. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she offered.

“Do you have a crush on anybody?”

It was probably a stupid question to ask. It was basically an invite for her to ask him the exact same question, and he did not want to answer it. However, he did sort of want to help James out.

Lily, meanwhile, was blushing and spluttering and not meeting anybody’s eyes. “Can someone define the word ‘crush’ for me?”

Sirius laughed at that. “If you really have a crush, you know about it, alright!” he said.

James gave him an odd look. “Oh yeah, Sirius? And you know this, how, exactly?”

Sirius didn’t answer, because Lily answered her question first. “I might. I’m not sure. I’m not lying, I’m genuinely not sure. Sorry.”

James looked at her for a long time but she didn’t meet his eyes when she said: “James, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“Yes,” said James immediately, “I do. Remus, truth or dare?”

“Peter and I are feeling left out!” Sirius objected.

“Rough luck, mate,” James was still looking at Lily. “Remus?”

“Truth.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

****************************************************************************************************************  
September 1st 1971, on the Hogwarts Express

Remus accepted a final, teary-eyed hug from his mum and started hauling his trunk onto the train. His father was deep in conversation with a colleague, something Longbottom or other, and clearly wasn’t aware that his son kind of needed a hand. His mum had started full-on sobbing now, and Remus wasn’t eager to show the wide-eyed students around him that yes, she was _his_ mother. A solution presented itself in the form of a lanky young boy with dark, wavy hair and sparkling eyes. 

“I’ll help you with yours if you help me with mine,” he said.

Remus was so startled that he was being addressed by a stranger that he dropped his trunk back onto the platform. The guy picked it up without much trouble and gestured for Remus to get on the train and take it from him. Then, with strong, lean arms, he lifted his own trunk and passed it to Remus. When both suitcases had been loaded, he climbed the step into the train himself and said, a little breathlessly: “Nice to meet you. Sirius Black.”

They were shaking hands and Remus was at a loss for words. _Oh Gods, Sirius Black, you have the most gorgeous eyes. What are your hopes and dreams, Sirius Black? What do you want out of life? How does it feel to touch your hair?_ He managed, instead, to say:

“Remus Lupin, pleasure to meet you.”

****************************************************************************************************************

_Christmas holidays of 1974, Gryffindor Common Room_

Remus cleared his throat before answering. “Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Sirius, truth or dare?”

Sirius beamed at him. “Which would you prefer, Mooneykins?”

Remus rolled his eyes, and Sirius picked dare.

“I dare you to massage my shoulders,” Remus shot him a big grin. The full moon had been three nights ago and he had some serious muscle pains. Sirius obediently clambered behind him into their familiar positions and dug his palms into Remus’ shoulder blades.

“Never have to dare me for that,” he said softly. Remus didn’t hear him, because he was concentrating on keeping his eyes open and his breathing even as Sirius worked miracles on his back.

“Peter,” said Sirius.

“Dare,” said Peter.

Sirius grinned. “I dare you to eat a whole handful of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans at once.”

Peter made a face. Eating more than one Bean at a time was notoriously disgusting. “You got any?”

James disappeared into their dormitory and returned with a big bag of candy. Sirius, who was still focussing his attention on Remus, shot James a smile.

Peter completed this dare with admirable stoicism. There were no moans of protest, no gagging noises and, most importantly, there was no projectile vomiting. He washed down his snack with a mouthful of Firewhiskey and turned his gaze to Sirius.

“Truth or dare, Padfoot?”

Now Sirius was in for it. If he said ‘dare,’ he’d no doubt be forced to do something humiliating or disgusting like what he’d just made Peter do. If he chose ‘truth,’ he’d have to bare his soul. It was a lose-lose situation. “Truth.”

“If you had to snog someone in this room, who would it be?”

Sirius’ mouth fell open. Peter’s expression wasn’t curious. It wasn’t teasing. It was knowing, and earnest. He’d figured it out. Peter, tiny little Peter with the chubby cheeks and the shoddy spellwork, had seen right through him. James knew, obviously. Did Remus know? Did Remus _know_?

There was no point in lying. “Remus,” he said, and removed his hands from said bloke’s shoulders.

“Why?” James immediately asked. Sirius gave him a long look. The git already knew why, but bless him for playing along.

****************************************************************************************************************

_Spring term of 1972, the Quidditch Pitch_

“I may be in deep shit, Prongs.”

“Aren’t you always?”

“Har, har. Plonker. No, I’m serious.”

“Aren’t you always?”

The joke was old enough that neither of them laughed.

“What is it this time?” James went on, “McGonagall caught you raiding her underwear drawer? You may have been contaminated by whatever grows in Snivellus’ hair? You’ve finally looked in the mirror and discovered that you look like a complete and utter wanker?”

“I hope you drop that Quaffle on your face.”

They were lying side by side in the grass and James was throwing the Quaffle in the air and catching it a split second before it hit him on the nose and broke his glasses. Sirius was looking at the clouds. There was one shaped a bit like a fried egg, and for some reason he found this unbearably funny.

“Anyway, Prongs, I think I’m in love with Moony.”

James dropped the Quaffle on his face. “Wait a sec, what?”

Sirius didn’t dare look at him. James sat up. 

“Padfoot, what?”

“You heard me. I’m in love with him. I want to give him roses and squishy teddybears and sloppy kisses. I want to touch his hair and stuff.”

James groaned. “You’re in deep shit, man.”

“I just said that. I know this breaks, like, a million rules of Marauderly conduct, and I’ve tried to stop myself, but I can’t.”

“Of course you can’t, Padfoot. You can’t make yourself stop loving someone once you love them.” James’ voice had gone softer now, and Sirius felt a wave of fondness for his best friend. He hid it by shooting him an annoyed look.

“I swear to Merlin, James, if this turns into another rant about Lily’s eyes being the colour of a Quidditch Pitch at dawn…”

“I wasn’t going to say that. What colour eyes does Remus have, anyway?”

“Brown,” sighed Sirius. “Though you can hardly tell because of the huge, dorky adorable glasses. How is a bloke supposed to resist those glasses, I ask you?”

James grinned at Sirius. “Brown,” he sing-songed, “the colour of chocolate frogs and bliss.”

Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. James dropped the Quaffle again.

****************************************************************************************************************

_Christmas holidays of 1974, Gryffindor Common Room_

Sirius shrugged. “I don’t have to tell you why, Prongs. One question per turn. Evans, truth or dare?”

Lily gave him a calculating look. “Dare.”

Sirius smiled innocently at her and said: I dare you to do a handstand up against that wall for, err, two minutes.”

Lily got up and looked at the wall. She put her hands down on the floor, asked Remus to put on his wand alarm, and easily kicked her feet up into a handstand. She was wearing pink pyjamas with her dressing gown over them for warmth. Sirius had foreseen what Lily had not; that the lapels of the dressing gown were now continuously swatting her in the face.

“Damn you, Black!” she cursed breathlessly. The terrycloth of the robe tickled her nose and obscured the common room from view. Sirius and James and Peter laughed uproariously and Remus attempted to stifle his giggles. Then the wand alarm went off, and Lily crumbled into a pink heap on the floor.

“Okay,” she dusted off her pyjamas and sat back down in her place. “James, truth or dare?”

James looked both delighted and terrified. “Dare,” he said, and puffed out his chest in a way that made the other boys snort with laughter. 

“I dare you to switch clothes with me until the end of the game.”

James goggled at her. He was wearing jeans and a scarlet hoodie that declared his loyalty to the Wigtown Wanderers, a Scottish Quidditch team. “Why?” he managed.

“Because I’m cold. And I think it’d be funny to see you in pink pyjamas.” Without looking around, she added: “The others agree!”

“Yes, we do!” said Peter, Remus and Sirius at once. 

James was not going to chicken out. He went to the dormitory and returned with his clothes neatly folded, wearing a terrycloth robe of his own. Lily went to her common room to change. In order to climb back down the stairs, she had to hold up James’ jeans with one hand while clutching the bannister with the other. She was absolutely swimming in his sweater. 

James disappeared into his dormitory with an armful of pink flannel, and reappeared looking absolutely ridiculous. For starters, the pyjama bottoms came down to just below his knobby knees, leaving two hairy shins roaming wild and free. The same would have happened to his underarms if he hadn’t also been wearing Lily’s bathrobe. It was a brighter shade of pink than the pyjamas, and he looked ridiculously comfy in them. With a smug grin, he sat back down in the circle.

 

 

“Sirius, truth or dare?”

“Dare,” said Sirius. There were way too many secrets James knew about him.

“Very well, I dare you to snog Remus.”

Both boys gave James incredulous looks. What with all of the dares and crossdressing shenanigans, Sirius had all but forgotten his earlier admission. Next to him, Moony was blushing and picking at his nail beds.

Sirius Black did not back out of a dare, ever. He looked at Moony until he looked up shyly, and although there were nerves in his brown eyes, there was certainly no disgust. So, ever so gently, Sirius leaned over and pressed a kiss to Remus’ lips. It was dry and gentle, and he kept his eyes closed, feverishly thinking about the fact that he was kissing Remus, that it was truly Remus he was kissing, that it wasn’t a dream. Remus made a small throaty sound and his upper lip slid wetly over Sirius’ and then Sirius was done for. He took Remus’ head firmly in both his hands to keep him close, and opened his mouth against him. He also opened his eyes, and saw Moony looking right back at him. _Oh Merlin, oh Merlin, oh Gods,_ now there was tongue and it tasted faintly of Firewhiskey and chocolate frogs and Remus’ hand had come to rest on his hips and they were pulling him steadily closer and, surely, this was what heaven felt like. Neither of them pulled away. Sirius was kissing Remus, finally kissing Remus, and Remus was kissing him back with the most delightful, frantic, clumsy enthusiasm.

James cleared his throat. Remus gave a start and hid his face in the crook of Sirius’ neck for a second, so that Sirius could feel the warmth of his breath.

“So,” said James, “that went well.”

Lily was blushing a little and looking from Sirius to Remus and back again with a big grin on her face.

“James,” said Sirius, still holding Moony close, “I dare you to snog Lily.” 

James beamed at him as though Christmas had come early, and then turned that megawatt smile on Lily.

“Oh, alright then,” she said, making an absurd wriggly motion to unearth her arms from the sleeves of James’ sweater. James bounded over to her and they started making out without hesitation, both very happy looking.

“Told ya,” said Sirius. “When you’ve really got a crush, you know it.”

Lily gave him the finger and returned to kissing James.

****************************************************************************************************

Remus awoke the next morning on something hard and ungiving but warm. Closer inspection revealed it to be Sirius’ chest. Not a dream, then. Brilliant. He was lying on Sirius and Sirius was lying on one of the overstuffed crimson sofas in the common room. Sirius was still fast asleep, and his hair was ruffled and adorable. Remus’ fingers were in it before he knew what he was doing. In the large armchair by the fire, he saw that Lily had fallen asleep on James’ lap. Peter was nowhere to be seen.

A croaking sound announced that someone was entering through the portrait hole. Remus tensed for a moment. Was it strange to be found snoozing on another bloke’s chest? Probably. But Sirius’ hand shifted until it was around Remus’ waist, pulling him closer, and he suddenly found he didn’t care.

In the door opening was Peter, clutching a silvery lock of hair. Dumbledore’s beard. Remus started laughing so loud he woke all the others up.

Peter looked at each of them in turn, eyes sparkling with mischief, and said: “You’ll never know how I did it.”

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**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment here or return to [rs_collab](http://rs-collab.livejournal.com) @ livejournal to leave a comment!


End file.
